Name Tag in Place and Ready to Go!

For those of you that missed Jessica's Farewell talk on Sunday, here are some notes from her Sacrament Meeting Talk.  Her topic was "Commandments", but she called it "My Happy Talk", because keeping the commandments makes her HAPPY (:

We are given commandments because we are loved and he wants to protect us.

John 14:15   If ye love me, keep my commandments.

In turn, we show love by following.

Preach My Gospel - Commandments are instructions from a loving Father in Heaven to help us have happy lives.

Obedience brings peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come.
We are expected to obey so we can be blessed.
Blessings come as we obey.

Doctrine & Covenants 130:20-21

20     There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated --

21     And when we obtain any blessings from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated

Analogy of commandments protecting.
Mormons CAN'T do this and this, but really it's so we CAN do this and this.

Some of the commandments:
Pray Often
Study the Scriptures
Keep the Sabbath Day Holy
Baptism
Follow the Prophet
Keep the 10 Commandments
Live the Law of Chastity
Obey the Word of Wisdom
Pay Tithing / Fast Offerings
Obey and Honor the Law

(Jessica with Parents & Grandparents)

Sunday night from 4-6 I had an Open House to say my last goodbyes to friends and family.  I am so grateful for those who came.  It meant a lot to me to have you there!

(Name Tag in Place)

(Sister Jessica Smith & President Darold Stroud)

At 7:30 Sunday night, I met with President Darold Stroud (my Stake President) and was again set apart as a Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I had tears in my eyes and was so glad to hear that again!  I put my Missionary name tag on to let everyone know I am a Missionary.

My bags are packed and I'm ready to go.  Monday morning came EARLY!  My flight to Little Rock, Arkansas was at 5:27 AM.  I am on my way, heading back to the Arkansas Little Rock Mission until February/March 2017.

A Child's Prayer

It is October 2015. One full year ago, I returned home from Arkansas and was released as a full-time missionary. The path that I've been on this past year has been a rough one. I have been tossed and thrown around. My life was a roller coaster. But one thing that has remained constant is my faith in Jesus Christ, and that will never change.

When I arrived home, I was still a missionary, living the missionary life, for a whole month before they finally released me. They didn't know what to do with me. The plan was to go back to my mission after a transfer, assuming that my back would be healed. So much for that.

Life went on. Once released, I started dating and I met a really wonderful guy, whom I love dearly. I left for school that following semester and said goodbye to him and started Winter 2015 back at BYU Hawaii. That semester was the worst yet. I didn't want to be at school. I hid myself. My hair was darker, I no longer had glasses, and I wore hats so that I could fly under the radar. Seeing my old friends was difficult, because they all expected me to be on my mission. Heck, I expected me to be on my mission. 

I hated myself and I hated school. I fell into horrible depression and didn't want to do anything. I was struggling every day and wanted to be back at home. I wanted to be with my family and my friends back in Washington. 

The semester finally finished and I was able to go home. I learned that I was unable to return on my mission because I wasn't able to bike 8 miles and walk 6 miles a day. That was hard, to say the least. All my desires were crushed right in front of me. But hey, life still continues.

I did an internship over the summer and I was surrounded by solid friends. I attended my YSA Ward and I was dating.  Remember that guy I dated upon coming home? Yea, he left for his mission in July. That was hard. I still loved him. But I was so, so, so proud of him. Once he left, it was time for me to go back to school. 

It was my final semester at BYU Hawaii. Which means... I graduate. Meaning... I need to figure out my life. I had no idea what to do after graduation, and it was incredibly stressful. I still had the desire to go back on my mission. I felt that the Lord may not have cared about my desire, or else I would've been able to go. Boy, was I wrong! 

One day, I was at the Laie Temple. A feeling came over me saying. "Go back on your mission. Do it, and I will provide a way for it to all work out." I couldn't believe it! The Lord heard my cries, my prayers, and my ache. He never left me. And now, He will provide a way so that I could serve again.

Immediately, I got started. I called my Bishop who contacted my Stake President who then contacted my Stake President back home as well as the Missionary Department. After loads of stress and forms that I had to do and hoops I needed to jump through, my Stake President had all that was necessary to send off to the Missionary Department for approval. We assumed that I would be getting a reassignment mission to an area that offered sisters bikes always.

Within a week, I received an email from my Stake President:

"Aloha Sister Jessica Smith, I just received a call from the Missionary Department. You have been approved to return to the Little Rock Arkansas Mission on November 16th. You will not be assigned to any bike areas." 

Well. There it is. There is my call. I will be going back to Arkansas. I can hardly believe it. And how soon it is going to be here! I graduate on November 2nd, and then will be leaving early on November 16th, only two weeks after graduation. Holy smokes.

My experience throughout all this has really been incredible. I am so grateful for all that I've had to go through. If anything, this past year has simply reaffirmed to me my desire to serve. I am now more stoked, more devoted, more committed, more consecrated, and more willing to serve with all of my heart, might, mind, and strength. It has been a trying year, but I know that it is exactly what I needed. I only hope that I will be able to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.

When Faith Endures

This past weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend the 40 year reunion of the Arkansas Little Rock Mission. There are so many different emotions and thoughts that I had to face over the course of the reunion, and not all were pleasant.

First off, I just wanna say that it's a good thing that I'm writing this after the fact instead of during, otherwise there would be no "light at the end of the tunnel" attitude.

I had an incredible time in Arkansas, I really did. However, there were moments when it was incredibly awful, as well. It just felt so right being back there and I missed being a missionary so, so, so much. I just wanted to go back. I wanted to do more and I wanted to serve more.

"If ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work." D&C 4:3

I had that desire, and I still do. So why am I unable to be "called to serve" on a full time mission? I felt as though I was being punished because I didn't serve fully enough. I felt that I was unworthy of that blessing because I was a disappointment. I felt discouraged and I felt worthless. At the time, I knew these feelings came from the adversary, but I couldn't shake the thought that they were true, so whether it was the devil or not, it didn't matter. I still felt inside that I was the problem.

I kept telling myself that if I had "sucked it up more" then I would still be serving (in spite of everything that the Savior went through, He never gave up, so why wasn't I able to endure through mere back pain when He suffered through so much more?). If I was "stronger" then I could still be on the mission. If I had prayed more, then I would be able to face my tribulation and not have it consume me. After all, the Lord doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. Therefore, I felt weak. I felt as though I disappointed my Lord when I didn't conquer that trial. I continued to think, "This was my trial for my mission...my back. All I had to do was overcome that. All I had to do was work past the pain of my back and serve. This was the one thing that the Lord asked me to fight through to serve and I failed."

It just felt so right serving and I loved doing it. All I wanted was to go back to Arkansas upon graduation and return to being a servant as a full time missionary. And if I have to suffer through severe back pain everyday to do it, I would. All I would have to do is tell my doctor that I can, that I'm able to endure through the pain, and I could go back. It would be that easy. I could simply say that I'm fine and could return. I felt confused, depressed, anxious, and frustrated. I felt abandoned. I felt like my desires didn't matter, even though they were good ones. I felt as though God didn't care. I felt weak, alone, and afraid. And I started doubting God's plan for me. And I HATED feeling that way, and that's an understatement. I despised those thoughts. And in turn, I hated myself for doubting God.

Being there was hard because I should've BEEN there. Not visiting at that time, but still there on my mission. I should've been serving. I should've been in the mission choir with my MTC district. I could've been training just as all my district was. I should've been wearing my name tag and declaring the truth of the gospel with my companion everyday.

Now, here is the bright side of all of this. I was reminded by a dear friend, as well as by my Mission President, and a member in the ward that I served in that I am still a missionary. I served fully. I gave it my all. I served faithfully and I served willingly. And though I don't know what the Lord has planned for me, I do know that He does have something planned, because He loves me and He is greater than I am.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9  

"I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." 1 Nephi 11:17

I do not know many things, but I do know that I am loved. I know that He has a plan for me. He knows my desires and He knows my heart. The Lord grants unto us our desires, but always in accordance with His will. He already grants unto me the ability to preach His gospel, so why desire more than He already gives? All I have to do is access what He already grants me and then I can be a true instrument in His hands.

He has prepared something far better for me than I can create for myself. All I have to do is let Him. All I have to do is surrender my will to Him and trust in Him. Once I do that, I allow my pain to be taken up. Once I do that, I allow Him to change me. Once I do that, I am giving Him the power to bring me full happiness and complete joy.

"Trust in Him. Trust Him who knows all things. Trust Him who has all power. Trust Him whose love for you is perfect. Trust Him, who alone suffered, paid, and atoned for your sins, and for your weaknesses as well. Trust Him that He will make of you, immeasurably more, than what you will ever, ever, in all eternity, make of yourself. He will create of you a masterpiece. You will create of you only a smudge. You will create an ordinary [woman]. He will create a God." The Fourth Missionary

A little over nine months ago, I was released as a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Even though the name badge on my lapel may be removed, it has not been removed from my heart; it will forever be embedded in me to be a representative of Jesus Christ at all times, in all things, and in all places. 

Be Still, My Soul

Hey y’all! I am so sorry that I’ve been out of touch these past few weeks. Life has been pretty crazy and busy and insane! But one thing that has helped to keep me going is the promise found in Romans…

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

(Spent the day down in Waikiki with my roommates and a couple friends)

(No big deal... Just riding in the back of a truck)

(Thai food truck.... Only in Hawaii)

I’ve been enjoying the HI life though… I’ve made some great friends and I absolutely love my roommates. We’ve gone to the beach, surfing (they did, not me), to food trucks, shopping, formed a book club, and loads of fun things. I am so glad I’ve made the great friends that I have here. They help me to make the best out of my time and are a huge encouragement to me.

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth: for he hath not another to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 

I am working on my Senior Research Project that I have to write up for Psychology. It is pretty intense. I changed my topic at the last minute, and now I’m looking at the onset of deafness and its effects on self-esteem, so whether you’re born deaf or become deaf. I am super excited! I’m glad I was able to come up with a topic that truly interests me. I definitely will be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27).

You wanna know something that’s crazy?! I come home next month. Yea, let that soak in. I’ll be back in the rainy miserable state of Washington. However, it’s probably not much worse than the weather has been here lately. But I can’t believe it. This semester flew by! At first, it was going so slow, but now it’s almost over. I’m looking forward to coming home, then the Philippines, then Arkansas, to Hawaii for my final semester, and then back on my mission. That’s the plan anyways. My life has been pretty insane these last couple weeks. A lot has been going on and a lot of emotions, energy, and painstaking effort have been portrayed. I feel at times that I just want to give up. That life is too hard. That it’s not worth it. But I am reminded that there is hope. There is a bright side.

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8–9

Since it’s been such a long time since I last wrote, there’s so much that I’ve done and experienced that it’s hard to recall and include it all. So instead, I would just love to share what I’ve learned over these few weeks. Lately, I’ve been really focused on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and how much it has been a strength to me.

“I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.” John 12:46

I am so grateful beyond grateful for the knowledge of the gospel and for the strength that I receive from my Savior. I know I can get through the roughest times, because that is when He carries me… I love the Footprints in the Sand poem (I actually have it imprinted on one of my rings that I always wear, so it’s always with me) which speaks to this exactly. When we feel alone and are going through the hardest times in our lives that is truly when our Savior carries us, which is why we see only one step of footprints.

“Don't worry... God is never blind to your tears, never deaf to your prayers, and never silent to your pain. He sees, He hears, and He will deliver." 

Without that knowledge, I don’t know how I’d be able to get by. I receive comfort, strength, power, and peace from this understanding. Christ promises us that as we follow Him, He will bless us. He is, and should always be, above ALL things. He is our #1. He invites us to “Come follow me”. We should not put a question mark with that, because Christ has put a period. Never ask when, how, where, or why. Just do it and leave everything else behind.

“Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.” Alma 37:36

He understands you. He KNOWS what you are going through. How, you may ask? Because of the Atonement. He has suffered for you. He literally took your sorrows upon Himself. He has felt every insecurity, every pain, every temptation, every weakness, and every tear that you have experienced. And you know what? He will go through it all over again if to take away a small amount of your pain. But guess what… He doesn’t have to. He’s already done it.  And “God is mindful of every people” (Alma 26:37).

“But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions.” Alma 34:41

Having this knowledge has truly been a strength to me and is the reason that I am able to make it through each day. I know what I am living for, and who I am living for. I know who I am. I know God’s plan. And I will follow Him in faith. 

How Firm A Foundation

This week has been bearable. I had loads of homework to be done, just as I do every week, but it wasn’t terrible. It was only terrible in the middle of the week. I was able to turn in my passport application and I should be receiving my passport in the mail within a few weeks.

I decided where I will be doing my internship this summer. Drum roll, please…. The Philippines! I will be working with special needs children. I’ll be assisting in special needs classes to kids between 5 and 18 years old that have different physical and mental disabilities, including cerebral palsy, autism, downs syndrome, autism, deafness and blindness. I’ll mostly be working in a classroom setting, but if I wish to work longer hours, additional work may also be available at a small home for children with special needs. Because of my experience in therapeutic treatments, I can also work one-on-one with the children at their homes. I will be in the Philippines from mid-June to the end of July. I am so excited! It took a lot of praying and study to decide that this is what I was to do. I feel that I am supposed to go and the Lord has made it possible for me. I am looking forward to being able to help those that can’t help themselves.

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40

"...When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."  Mosiah 2:17

I joined my Ward’s intramural volleyball team. We had to forfeit, however, because we didn’t have enough girls that showed up, so that was a bummer. But it was still fun. A bad idea, but fun. I was in so much pain the days following. Playing volleyball when you have a bad back isn’t the brightest decision. Oh! And I also fell, like the day, or two days before playing volleyball. I tripped over a sign in the library and fell onto my tailbone and back onto my backpack and back. It wasn’t too great. I was in loads of pain afterwards, and then the volleyball just added to that. I was hoping that the popping which occurred after my fall would pop everything back into place, but it didn’t seem to work that way. However, I still have hope that the Lord will heal me to go back on a mission, if that’s what I am supposed to do. I have no doubt about it.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This weekend was loads of fun. I met up with my roommates, and others, at The Cheesecake Factory on Friday. After Cheesecake, we were gonna go to do Karaoke, but apparently you had to be 21, because it was in a bar. And guess what? I wasn’t 21… I felt bad because pretty much everyone else was old enough. So, instead, we went to H&M and went shopping.

On Saturday, my roommates and I went up to the Northshore. I wanted to get my hair done, so I invited them to come with me and we could have a girl’s beach day. Getting my hair done took longer than I thought (3hrs, because she had to do different things to be able to get it the color I wanted). By the time I was finished, we were all starving. Lo and Tor were at the beach during my appointment, so they got some good sun time. When I was done, we went to get food and then headed back home. This week is Ward Conference week. So there’s a Fireside tonight at the Temple Visitor’s Center. I’m excited.

"But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God." Moroni 7:13

I realized last night that I had a talk that I had to give today. So, I then wrote that and it only took me like 30 minutes. Luckily, the library was still open so I was able to print it out last night. I spoke on building a testimony of faith. I focused on my Savior and how we can do nothing without having faith in Him (the talk is on my blog, as well). And I know that to be so true. I have received so much strength from my faith in my Savior. I know that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for Him. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to continually be changed and to become more like my Savior. I love this Gospel, and I love you all! <3

Building A Testimony On Faith

TALK GIVEN IN SACRAMENT MEETING on 2/8/15

I am humbled and grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony with y'all. There are so many different ways that I can take this topic, but I want to focus on our Savior, Jesus Christ, because without Him, joy and happiness and all things good would not be possible.  The first two foundations of a testimony are knowing 1) Heavenly Father lives and loves His children and 2) Jesus Christ lives and is the Son of God. He carried out the infinite Atonement. The first lesson for missionaries to give to investigators is on the Restoration. But do y’all know what the first subject is that we address? “God is our loving Heavenly Father.” He loves us. We teach others from the very beginning about the importance of that love, the importance of that faith. This includes having faith in His son. The first principle of the Gospel is faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Without that, we can do nothing. Preach My Gospel says, 

“Having faith in Christ includes having a firm belief that He is the Only Begotten Son of God and the Savior and Redeemer of the world. We recognize that we can return to live with our Heavenly Father only by relying on His Son’s grace and mercy.”

So, the question is, what do we do with this faith? We accept and apply His Atonement in our lives as well as His teachings. We trust Him. We trust what He says. We obey Him. And we listen. In the Topical Guide under Faith, it says to see also “believe, confidence, faithful, obedience, trust, trust in God.” 

I never really thought of it that way. That having faith would mean being obedient. But it makes sense. It's like when we were little kids and we were obedient to our parents. We would fully submit to our dad's will. We didn't know any better. We had to trust him and trust that he had our best interests in mind. And that's what the Lord asks of us now. 

"[Put] off the natural man and [become] a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." Mosiah 3:19

I’m reminded of the scripture in Proverbs that states, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”  That truly is all He asks of us. We are blind. All we know is what is given to us through the Book of Mormon and modern day revelation through prophets. But that doesn’t mean that we can fully see. We still have to take that step. We have to trust Him and trust what He has planned for us. There is so much that we don’t understand and that we can’t quite comprehend. But should it matter? No. He has asked us to act in faith. There’s something that the Lord wants for each of us. He has plans for all of us. Whether it be going on a mission, getting married, going off to Grad School, or whatever, He knows. We need to trust Him and have the faith to accept His will. 

President Monson said something that we all need to fully embrace…

“Unless the roots of your testimony are firmly planted, it will be difficult for you to withstand the ridicule of those who challenge your faith. When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life.”

I have definitely seen this in my own life. Even amidst all the tough classes, uncertainty, the pain of loss, homesickness, and feelings of inadequacies, because of my faith, I know that I can be strengthened through my Savior and He has provided a way for me to be happy. The decisions I make right now are of the most importance, and I am so glad that I have the opportunity to turn to my Heavenly Father to seek His help and His counsel. He truly has influenced me in the choices that I make and I’m able to see His hand in my life.

Some of you may know this, others may not… But I served my mission, and then injured my back and Mission Medical sent me home early to get treatment and then said I couldn't go back unless I was 100% better, which wasn’t going to happen, so, here I am. The reason I share this is because it all took faith. When I first decided to serve a mission, I trusted that it was what the Lord wanted for me. I received the assurance that it was right, so off I went. I took that step of faith, to help others increase their faith. But then, I was hit with another opportunity to put my trust in the Lord. When I was sent home, it took every ounce of me to be confident that the Lord had a plan for me. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew that He could see the big picture. Honestly, I still don’t know why things happened the way they did, but it had. I stressed and feared about it for a while. There’s saying that goes like “Know fear, No God. Know God, No fear.” When reminded of that, I realized that my fear was a lack of faith. And once I strengthened that faith and came to a better understanding of His plan, I was able to accept this and learn from my experiences.

Because of what I had to go through, I believe I grew so much, because truthfully, I had NO idea what I was going to do with my life. I literally had to give myself to the Lord and turn to Him completely to help me. If I didn’t have that solid faith, I would’ve never received a confirmation that what I was doing was right. 

My Mission President placed a special importance on increasing our own spiritual capacity. He  focused on the missionaries becoming stronger in the faith and being truly converted. This is where I developed a greater faith. I had a deeper desire to repent. To learn of all His commandments, and to obey them. I had a better understanding of my purpose. I was led to want to become more like my Savior. I had a stronger desire to pray and to read my scriptures. That’s what faith does. Faith leads to action. The reasons we pay tithing, pray, repent, read our scriptures, keep the Word of Wisdom, are all because we first believe in Jesus Christ strongly enough to keep His commandments. We’re living a life of faith. 

I am so beyond grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don’t deserve it, but I’m grateful for the chance I have to hand over my burdens and pain to my Savior. Through our faith, He can heal us. I am so grateful for that. Because of Him, I can smile, Because of Him, I can feel joy. Because of Him, I can repent. Because of Him, I can love. Because of Him, I can live. I am so grateful for all He does for me and for all He will continue to do. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Lord Is My Light

Well. This past week has been a bit crazy… I feel like I was running around a ton. But all for good reason! It has to do with this summer…. India fell through. I will no longer be travelling to India for an internship. I took that as a sign that I am supposed to go to Samoa, for the project we’re doing there during Summer Break. However, my professor prayed about it and believes that I am supposed to stay back and be on the “home-team”. This means that everyone in Samoa will collect the data and then send it to me and I would be running the statistics of it all.

As of right now, the plan is to go home in April and do online classes for Summer A, which I think I’ve mentioned. But now, I will stay there until the beginning of August, and then come back to Hawaii for my final semester. This is not ideal. I’m hoping that I can find some Internship to do and go somewhere for the Summer Break. So far, I’ve found a couple things, but nothing seems to work out because of the dates. They all go until August 14^th, and BYU-H starts on the 3^rd. I also applied to be an EFY Counselor. One problem, I won’t be 20 by the deadline. I turn 20 a month afterwards. But, I only applied for the weeks after my birthday, so we’ll see if it works out. If not, I’ve looked into counseling in New York, and also internships abroad. I’ve been talking with the ASL teachers, as well to see if there are any internships I can do with the Deaf. So far, I only know of working at a Deaf School in Ghana, so we’ll see. I know something will work out! I’ve been praying constantly trying to receive direction, but it’s been a struggle still.

Classes have still been pretty tough, but I’ve come up with a way to manage them, for the most part. I am still enjoying every bit of it, though! But I am excited to be able to save money and be home this summer. I still don’t feel like this is right to be here…

“Lift up your heads and be of good comfort... And I will also ease the burdens which are upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions… The Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease…” Mosiah 24:13-15

I have definitely been starting to enjoy my time here, but it’s still not the same. I’m not sure what it is. However, I’ve been going out! Accomplished! *High Five* I mostly only went out yesterday, but hey, at least I did! Yesterday afternoon, Trevor and I went to get pizza in town and then went to Lanikai Beach for a bit (the best beach on the island). The whole reason for this trip was because we had to go to Walmart, so we did that afterwards. Once we got home, we went to our school’s basketball game, which we totally won, by the way, and got free ice cream because we scored 100 points. Also, I went camping! It was loads of fun! We had a huge group of people that all joined together to camp. We had a massive fire and music, and it was great. It was last night, but I didn’t end up staying the night. I came home around 2am, so that I could get some decent sleep to go to church this morning.

Church…. Now that was interesting. It’s Fast and Testimony meeting, and my Ward seemed like it was a Priesthood Meeting. Everyone that went up was male, and after about six guys, the first sister went up and then one more. Then there were two more guys, and then me. So, because I made myself known by bearing my testimony, after Sacrament, I was given a calling and also asked to speak in church next week… Stoked. I’m sure it will be alright… Maybe!

One thing that I have definitely noticed this week is how much the Lord is testing me, and Satan. Because I am trying to do all things right and do the Lord’s will, Satan is right there next to me trying to get me to stop. He is real, and I’ve felt it. I am often times pulled to stray from the path, and to forget the important things. But, as I continue to choose righteously by always having a prayer in my heart and remembering to read my scriptures daily, I know that the Lord will be my strength.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

I know this to be true. I know that the Lord won’t give me anything that I can’t handle. Everything that the Lord is allowing to happen to be is to give me experience and “shall be for [my] good” (D&C 122:7). Sometimes, I forget that. I’m not perfect. There are times when I wonder “Why me???” and times when I question His plan. Nevertheless, I know that He has a plan for me. Even though I can’t see it, I know it’s there.

I was reading in Mosiah which is in the Book of Mormon, and something in there really stuck out to me. It was during the time of Alma when they wanted him to be King, but instead, he was appointed as high priest. All the people were being righteous, and the Lord was blessing them exceedingly. “Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith” (Mosiah 23:21). Even when His people were righteous and the Lord was blessing them, he still tried them and tested them. I know that this is what is happening with me now. The Lord is testing my patience, which I feel He has done multiple times, so I don’t think I’ve learned yet, apparently… However, I know that it IS for my good and that He really does love me and that’s why He is helping me become the person that He knows me to be.

“Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day.” Mosiah 23:22

I love my Savior, I love this Gospel, and I love you! Hope your week went well! <3

“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” Hebrews 10:36