“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” Doctrine and Covenants 58:27
News of another sort… I may be coming home mid-April and not returning back to Hawaii for Summer A. Instead, I will be taking a couple online classes from home. Once Summer A is over, I would then fly out from SeaTac to India for my Internship, and then fly from India back to Hawaii for my final semester. We’ll see how it all plays out. I have to talk with my Academic Advisor, as well as my Psych professor and see if I can take the online courses and fly from Seattle instead. I hope it all works, because it would save on loads of money, and allow me to come home for a bit. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be returning home, most likely, until I graduate at the end of October.
On a different note, I’ve still been spending almost ALL of my time in the library. It’s been great. Ha! I get to be “away from the world” in a sense. With all that is going on, it’s nice that I can still get away and have some time to myself to contemplate what the Lord wants for me. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my Heavenly Father, whether it be on my own in the library, or dwelling in my bedroom. I’m still trying to figure out what He wants of me, and what His plan is for me. I still feel slightly lost, but I know I am not alone.
“When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” Matthew 6:6
I loved my Church meeting today. Why? I’ll tell you. We talked about receiving revelations for ourselves and how we have to listen. If we want to talk to God, pray; if we want God to talk to us, we need to listen and read our scriptures. That’s one thing I’ve been lacking is listening. After I pray, I immediately lie my head down and go to sleep. How do I expect to get an answer to my deepest inquiries if I don’t take the time to seek out His answer and listen?! Also, we learned about our divine nature and of who we are as Children of God. Another speaker referenced how we must follow our Savior with no questions asked, just doing it.
I am so grateful for the chances that I have every day and every moment of every day to turn to my Father and seek His wisdom and guidance. I still struggle to be in tune with the Spirit at all times, but I know He’s there. I know I am receiving help and I know that He’s building me up. I just can’t see it, but I feel it. Just as I can’t see the wind, or love, or even my brain, I know it’s there because I can feel it. I know my Father in Heaven loves me, and I know He’s watching out for me, especially in my times of trial and tribulation. I have to remember to turn to Him and take that first step so that He can lift me up and carry me.
“In the Gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike—and they will—you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened, we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding and reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven in defense of Abraham’s seed.” 2 Kings 6:16-17: Jeffrey R. Holland
As I’ve been turning to my Savior, I have received strength, minimal, but still strength. I have yet to see the full “fruit of my labors”, but I know the Lord is still there. I was able to go out with my friends this past weekend and actually do things. Up until now, I’ve been shutting everyone out and not wanting to go out and do things. I would rather like to be by myself and go to sleep early. However, this past weekend, I went for a run one day, I went to the Comedy Show, and then I went to Seven Brothers (a restaurant) afterwards with a bunch of friends. It’s something simple and small, but I know it’s the Lord strengthening me and helping me, by putting that desire and fire back into me.
“…By small and simple things are great things brought to pass...” Alma 37:6
I am so beyond grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don’t deserve it, but I’m grateful for the chance I have to hand over my burdens and pain to my Savior. Because of Him, I can smile, Because of Him, I can feel joy. Because of Him, I can repent. Because of Him, I can love. Because of Him, I can live. I am so grateful for all He does for me and for all He will continue to do. Life is hard, but the Gospel makes it easy.
Even amidst all the tough classes, uncertainty, the pain of loss, homesickness, and feelings of inadequacies, I know that I can be strengthened through my Savior and He has provided a way for me to be happy. The decisions I make right now are of the most importance, and I am so glad that I have the opportunity to turn to my Heavenly Father to seek His help and His counsel.
“Our decisions have made us what we are. Our eternal destiny will be determined by the decisions we yet will make.”
I love you all! And I am so grateful for y’all in my life. I hope you have a great week and don’t forget to turn your burdens over to the Lord when you feel like you can’t do it alone. <3
“Sometimes the Lord hopefully waits on His children to act on their own, and when they do not, they lose the greater reward, and the Lord will either drop the entire matter and let them suffer the consequences or else He will have to spell it out in greater detail. Usually, I fear, the more He has to spell it out, the smaller our reward.” –Ezra Taft Benson