The Lord Is My Light

Well. This past week has been a bit crazy… I feel like I was running around a ton. But all for good reason! It has to do with this summer…. India fell through. I will no longer be travelling to India for an internship. I took that as a sign that I am supposed to go to Samoa, for the project we’re doing there during Summer Break. However, my professor prayed about it and believes that I am supposed to stay back and be on the “home-team”. This means that everyone in Samoa will collect the data and then send it to me and I would be running the statistics of it all.

As of right now, the plan is to go home in April and do online classes for Summer A, which I think I’ve mentioned. But now, I will stay there until the beginning of August, and then come back to Hawaii for my final semester. This is not ideal. I’m hoping that I can find some Internship to do and go somewhere for the Summer Break. So far, I’ve found a couple things, but nothing seems to work out because of the dates. They all go until August 14^th, and BYU-H starts on the 3^rd. I also applied to be an EFY Counselor. One problem, I won’t be 20 by the deadline. I turn 20 a month afterwards. But, I only applied for the weeks after my birthday, so we’ll see if it works out. If not, I’ve looked into counseling in New York, and also internships abroad. I’ve been talking with the ASL teachers, as well to see if there are any internships I can do with the Deaf. So far, I only know of working at a Deaf School in Ghana, so we’ll see. I know something will work out! I’ve been praying constantly trying to receive direction, but it’s been a struggle still.

Classes have still been pretty tough, but I’ve come up with a way to manage them, for the most part. I am still enjoying every bit of it, though! But I am excited to be able to save money and be home this summer. I still don’t feel like this is right to be here…

“Lift up your heads and be of good comfort... And I will also ease the burdens which are upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions… The Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease…” Mosiah 24:13-15

I have definitely been starting to enjoy my time here, but it’s still not the same. I’m not sure what it is. However, I’ve been going out! Accomplished! *High Five* I mostly only went out yesterday, but hey, at least I did! Yesterday afternoon, Trevor and I went to get pizza in town and then went to Lanikai Beach for a bit (the best beach on the island). The whole reason for this trip was because we had to go to Walmart, so we did that afterwards. Once we got home, we went to our school’s basketball game, which we totally won, by the way, and got free ice cream because we scored 100 points. Also, I went camping! It was loads of fun! We had a huge group of people that all joined together to camp. We had a massive fire and music, and it was great. It was last night, but I didn’t end up staying the night. I came home around 2am, so that I could get some decent sleep to go to church this morning.

Church…. Now that was interesting. It’s Fast and Testimony meeting, and my Ward seemed like it was a Priesthood Meeting. Everyone that went up was male, and after about six guys, the first sister went up and then one more. Then there were two more guys, and then me. So, because I made myself known by bearing my testimony, after Sacrament, I was given a calling and also asked to speak in church next week… Stoked. I’m sure it will be alright… Maybe!

One thing that I have definitely noticed this week is how much the Lord is testing me, and Satan. Because I am trying to do all things right and do the Lord’s will, Satan is right there next to me trying to get me to stop. He is real, and I’ve felt it. I am often times pulled to stray from the path, and to forget the important things. But, as I continue to choose righteously by always having a prayer in my heart and remembering to read my scriptures daily, I know that the Lord will be my strength.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

I know this to be true. I know that the Lord won’t give me anything that I can’t handle. Everything that the Lord is allowing to happen to be is to give me experience and “shall be for [my] good” (D&C 122:7). Sometimes, I forget that. I’m not perfect. There are times when I wonder “Why me???” and times when I question His plan. Nevertheless, I know that He has a plan for me. Even though I can’t see it, I know it’s there.

I was reading in Mosiah which is in the Book of Mormon, and something in there really stuck out to me. It was during the time of Alma when they wanted him to be King, but instead, he was appointed as high priest. All the people were being righteous, and the Lord was blessing them exceedingly. “Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith” (Mosiah 23:21). Even when His people were righteous and the Lord was blessing them, he still tried them and tested them. I know that this is what is happening with me now. The Lord is testing my patience, which I feel He has done multiple times, so I don’t think I’ve learned yet, apparently… However, I know that it IS for my good and that He really does love me and that’s why He is helping me become the person that He knows me to be.

“Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day.” Mosiah 23:22

I love my Savior, I love this Gospel, and I love you! Hope your week went well! <3

“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” Hebrews 10:36